Frozen Moments

Usual
Boredom on a Sunday
Loneliness


Unusual
Me Visiting Church
Snow Visiting Me


Hate
Sleepless night
Few people now

Love
Snow on unopened eyelids
People who show the meaning

Last year this time
Snow storm& Storm in Life
Escaped one not the other


This year this time
Same snow storm
No reason to escape


Missing
----


Expecting
More Snow

Scary dreams ,Sleepless nights

Last night....
...I had Scary dream, Sleepless night which I don’t want
...I don’t have Comfort arms ,which I had once
May be I am not too young to have one, at least in the place where I stay now.

I was once the youngest Roomie ....

We 3 lived in a two bedroom apartment, I was given the privilege of a single room , while the other two had the other one

I never cooked neither they ask me to.
Kitchen was a place where I entertain them  with stories .It may be about the incidents of that day, the day before or sometimes a year before.

We had…

..Dinner.., Together;

..Stories.., Together;

..Sleep, Not-Together.

I slept on my room while they  slept on theirs. Though I have been invited many times to share the room, I always said "Not enough room for me".

At any time dreams are not faraway from me, especially the Night mares.

Night mares never let me sleep alone; I woke them  in the middle of night and asked 

"Shall i sleep here". 

They, either in their deep sleep or may be they knew i don’t take much space; they made room for me to sleep there.

Always on next day the word will come as a command ”Tonight you are sleeping in our room, else no space for you”. Never Listened to them, I slept alone again.

But every time I go , they made room for me to sleep. Also they never failed to say the same words next morning.

Usual sunday

Am I religious ? No ,

Am I not Religious ? No..

I am the Person who wants to go to church regulary not that i am so religious ,may be i am brought up like that .

Had latenight tired sleep of doing nothing woke up on sunday morning peeked out of the comforter to check the weather ,It is gloomy like most of the days , Looked for my mobile ,It is always either me or my mobile will be on the otherside of where we both start together in the night.

I am the last person who always sits in the last bench in the church. I never listened to the preaching though i tried hard to listen .
I entered for a hym which i always love to listen. After the hym ..Priest with no peace said "Peace be with you" .
Our Response "And also be with you".
Priest -"Share the Peace with one another" .
A couple shared their peace by kissing each other on their lips..

American grandma shared her peace by touching my head

African lady shared it by hugging me..

A phillipine guy by hand shaking ..

There was this Indian guy neither he nor I wants to touch,hug or shake hands ..we looked at each other and said at the same time "Peace".

People may come ,People may go

What was happening these days in my life? many ... People came ,People went and People are going from my life

There is this girl whom i met 8 years back.We don't know each other when we first land there ,
we don't know how long we will be together .We have different opinions different taste but still we were same.
Days passed by fate took us apart and lost contact . Few days back heard something is going on her life ,Though we were miles apart  i knew what she must be going through now . Called her after 3 years . I heard the caller tune from her phone.some strange song singing in a strange language for me. Not in a mood to listen,i was worried what will be the reaction from her side when she hears me .
I heard the voice from other side. I just said "Hello"..
There replies the voice from other side "Shobi is that you???.." . No matter how many years you lost contact of ur closed ones they will remain the same -   People came :):)

I met this guy through a small window,who came into my life uninvited.I know i opened doors for him to walk in,But uninvited still. I can't accept that I'd invited trouble.

He made me laugh for no reason,he made me cry for no reason but he left me for some reason

These days he is ...
...no more mail in my inbox,
....deleted number in my mobile,
.....memory that i carry with a heavy heart. -People went

There is this another girl who came into my life 2 years back..She gives me my space and have her own space always..
We spoke a little , sometimes it had a big meaning.
Usually we speak..
.."dinner?"
.."6:oo PM at Harvard?"
.."Movie ..tonight?"
.."Shopping?"

but unusually she said.. "I am moving from this place" - People are going..

Is India Shining???

I can see tha pain in their eyes .

When this will end ????






Ps- Pictures taken from forwarded mail

That Little me...

I must have been three. A little older or little younger.

I went to this School with White shorts and the brown tops, with small little bag which was too big for my tiny shoulders.

Mrs. Irene was my class teacher. She with her blue dress and chubby pink cheeks looks pretty with the smile on her face always. She looks more Prettier when she holds the crying child on her hand and comforts them.

Poor little me sitting at the corner and watching all these badly wants to get into Mrs. Irene’s arm, So I too cried... but I didn’t get her arms instead I got a slap from my another teacher ,This time I really cried ,not for Mrs. Irene , I cried of pain.

Mrs. Irene teaches the strange language called English. I learnt the meaningless things perfectly.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb...

“Who is that Mary?” . I was not big enough to care who she is.

Afternoon we slept- Mrs. Irene sang for us to sleep, but I slept when she stops singing.

One (un)fine evening I was hanging on the gate with my big bag in the shoulder and mouth full of rhymes waiting for dad, heard a loud noise and saw a man falling down from his bike. Some one shouted it is Mrs. Irene’s husband and he is dead. My small little mind didn’t understand anything.

There was the crowd of people surrounding Mrs. Irene. Me tiny little creature peeped through the small hole between two people, saw her. She was sitting there with her eyes well up with water and her cheeks are more pinkish than it use to be...

I ran to daddy, holding his hand asked “Mrs. Irene won’t smile again?”

(Im)Perfect days..

Lying in the darkness of a room she could feel nothing only the awkward silence in the room , She started thinking of him .There is always solitude in darkness

When she landed in the airport she was so scared what if he don't find her in the sea of people , she repeated his mobile number many times , But when he recognized her ,her relief was by sinking into the bags,baggage and also into him.

When he ask her to wait for him until he returns from the ticket counter she waited in the same place where he left , though it is in the middle of the Pedestrian path. He made fun of her for tat, She still don't have idea why she did that.

When they are traveling in the bus she looked out the window, everything seems new to her but not him , she felt they both lived together some where ,some place longtime ago.Things were different but yet the same.

She liked the room they stayed, especially the bed .She said the bed is too small but he said good it is small ,You wont go away from me in the middle of the sleep .She loved him more, than she use to. That night she slept the best sleep, with the face in the curve of his neck. No night mares and dreams a kiss away.He kissed her even in the middle of the sleep.

Next day morning they don't remember how often they turn off the alarm and slept?,every time they turn off the alarm they came closer and closer ,found nooks and curves to hold each other .

She hold his hand wherever they go and so did he . She was standing too close to him in the cruise and she could feel his breath on her hair ,she squeezed his palm and lye on his shoulder . At that minute she remembered somewhere someone asking her about the perfect date,For her , this is her perfect date.

When the time came for her to leave she asked when would we meet again?. He took her in his arms and gave a tight hug , she felt that was the moment she was longing for .Her throat began to close and her eyes well up with water . The look that he gave , haunts her. But she know that it is the time for her to leave him.

Those days are like minutes now . Everything changed now, even he . she left a part of her behind somewhere out there. Maybe in one of the places they went … Maybe in one of the benches they sat. Maybe under the pillow , a little hidden.

And that part of her will always remain a void...